Applying Nietzsche's words, sex is the root of human beings, not flowers.
I have been quiet since I was young and don't like to interact with people. When I was a child, I thought I could see the whole world, like a solo dance. No desires, no demands. But I think I first had desires in elementary school, as if entering a big world, and the solo dance turned into a large-scale stage play. I was curious about others, especially girls. Why did they have to use a different restroom than me? Then I dreamt that the whole class was using the same restroom. We were standing, and they were standing too.
At that time, desire had no sexual nature. Or rather, as I grew up, it gradually cultivated the ability to be "obscene." Later, with maturity, I was able to enjoy occasional sex. Of course, it was by myself.
From then on, I became trapped in it. Only then did I experience abstinence. I simply wanted to return to the "pure" state of childhood. But it was like adding fuel to the fire, making it more intense.
When one goes from maturity to decline, it becomes inevitable to distance oneself from sex. It is only at this time that one can truly return to purity.
Looking back, these are the three stages of my sexuality, and there is much to ponder.
Sex is "truth." It is an unavoidable aspect of all mature individuals, the most powerful one. From ignorant adolescence to maturity, the first thing to mature is sex. If a young person cannot mobilize other forces of the body, there is no doubt that sex is the ruler of their internal power. Shouldn't we call it their truth at this time? All actions reveal the shadow of sex, just as love is always the keynote of life.
High school is a romantic season because their sexuality is the purest and most passionate. Of course, I have no personal experience of love. Here, sex is also a general term, not just for mating. I mentioned earlier that I don't like to interact with people, but what attracts me more is someone who attracts others. Secondly, although sex dominates internally, or occupies the majority of the body, the external world has a huge impact on sex. Like me, I would suppress and evade sex, struggling against it, and as a result, we face this existence more squarely. We use sex to resist the outside world and discover ourselves. Or rather, we discover that sex is so real! This reality is beyond the concepts of the external world. It is the most direct, the most intense, and the most wonderful among all your senses. Compared to other political, religious, and moral concepts, we can be sure that sex exists. It is real.
Our social concepts constantly fill us with the dangers of sex, such as prostitution, sexual crimes, early love, and so on. But sex shatters their rigidity and lies. It's not that I support the above, but sex helps us to re-cognize, to have a more real understanding.
No matter how much we boast about our sexual abilities, we cannot deny that it comes with decline. People are destined to become impotent unless their lives suddenly end.
Nietzsche once said, "The most malicious words against the senses do not come from the mouths of the impotent or the abstinent, but from those who must abstain."
What I understand is that it refers to those who become sexually weak and disregard right and wrong. Of course, these people have nothing to do with what I have described in this article. This article is based on my own sexual experiences, and those who are sexually weak have no relation to this article. The clouds they experience are unknown to me. People are destined to become impotent, but the nourishment and "truth" they derive from sex will never be extinguished.
In the telegram group, the most vibrant people discuss the most authentic aspects. They crave, whether it is moral or immoral. I cherish this direct confrontation with oneself, whether it is terrifying or not. In this regard, the question of whether sex is "truth" is somewhat off-topic. Or rather, it may not be objective. What I am primarily concerned about is not the truth?
Does sex have anything to do with truth? This is even more a question of the individual and society. Sex is anti-social, anti-group, exclusive, and anti-survival, and so on. That's why I joined the telegram!
When it comes to "sex," aren't we trying to escape? Even I have started to self-censor.
Random Thoughts on Sex was renamed and organized on [[2024-02-05]].