Killing a Chicken#
Today I killed a hen, and I was responsible for plucking its feathers and gutting it. I filled a bucket with hot water from the noon sun and submerged the chicken in it. After a minute, I grabbed the scalding hot chicken and started plucking its feathers.
The hot chicken lay on the cement floor, with its neck and head lying still. As I plucked a clump of feathers, yellow skin was revealed. I suddenly noticed that the chicken's face was also yellow. When you observe a chicken up close, you can actually see a face.
Perhaps it was the influence of the snake with a human face from the Korean movie "The Grave Robber" that I watched a few days ago, but I quickly plucked all the feathers and then made a cut in its abdomen. I reached deep into the warm chest of the chicken and slowly pulled out all its internal organs.
I saw that this chicken had some butter near its anus, and there was a small red mark about the width of a pinky finger on its abdomen. I peeled back the skin and flesh and discovered that it was indeed not a disease, but a birthmark on the chicken's skin.
Then, I carefully cut off the anus and the long string of internal organs from the chicken's body. To avoid cutting the intestines, I intentionally made a larger cut.
There was still a heart, a fecal sac, and a somewhat unhealthy liver in the internal organs. I cut open the fecal sac with a knife and found that it was filled with food eaten in the morning, mostly cornmeal and some fine grains of sand. After tearing off the yellow membrane and cleaning it, I put everything back into the chicken's body and prepared to give it to my grandmother.
This chicken was small, but its leg was slightly lame. So I killed this one first to make hen soup.
I had noticed this lame chicken before. Yesterday, it was still foraging on the road, but today it has already been slaughtered.
Killing a Chicken and Killing a Person#
It was said that killing a person would lead to descending into the 18th level of hell. I don't like this kind of scare tactic. Wouldn't killing a chicken also lead to descending into the 18th level of hell? Or perhaps neither killing a chicken nor killing a person would lead to descending into the 18th level of hell? What is the difference between humans and chickens? Is it the size of intelligence or the level of strength? If intelligence is the standard, some intellectually disabled people are even inferior to chimpanzees; if strength is the standard, then it is reasonable to kill both chickens and humans due to their weakness; if descending into hell is the standard, who determines the value of killing chickens and killing humans?
And if we look at killing chickens and killing humans from an external perspective, the reason why killing humans is not allowed is because of the collective: laws, morals, and religion. But the power granted by this collective also means that when these norms allow it, you can kill wantonly, and you can also be deprived of life by others without any hindrance.
The reason why humans can kill chickens is because it is allowed by the collective, to be precise, it is allowed by the human collective. We often think that morals exist within the collective, but the scope of this collective can expand. The conditions for expansion are another question.
Therefore, if necessary, I will not hesitate to trample on any laws, rules, or morals. This statement may sound dark, but as humans living in society, there are some rules that are impossible to trample on, regardless of my personal will. Although killing chickens for various reasons is a normal thing, it is difficult to conceal the emptiness of the collective significance. The moral edifice of the ostrich that we have constructed is so self-deceptive.
The Impact of Slaughter#
After personally killing a life, all the dogmas, values, rules, and morals in the world become like clowns.
This is a virus, the coldness from the depths of my heart extinguishes all desires for life. This extremely bloody scene wakes me up from the fantasy of survival. Wakes me up from the beautiful dreams woven by society. The graceful lady turns into a pile of bones, the mountains of meat and seas of alcohol turn into a belly full of excrement and urine. Whether it is a humble gentleman or an innocent child, at this moment, they all feel emptiness. Only silence and numbness remain after the inability to face it directly.
Many people have only seen the white flesh, but have never thought about its origin. When we are driven by hunger, we never imagine that the meat we eat was once a living being playing and laughing. When I piece together the memories of primitive meat-eating, I recall all the scenes of life and death, and truly reexamine life. Perhaps some people think that I am the one being carved and slaughtered, that humans are at the top of the food chain, and survival of the fittest, with the winner being the king. But under this rule, all lives are just links. In the camp of strength and weakness, there is no strongest, only stronger; there is no eternal knife, only eternal meat. And those who are meat are forever deceived by the illusion of the strong.
This is a world woven with lies and illusions, and reality hides in the depths of emptiness. Driven by desire, I fall into long-lasting pleasure. Is it like pigs and sheep, breaking all rules after pleasure? And does the truth of death matter to who caused it? At this moment, I am like a fish that has not yet reached the chopping board, struggling and screaming before dying, or perhaps experiencing a different kind of liberation? If talking about liberation is too idealistic, then what other path is there to take?
The method of liberation has been described by previous generations but remains unresolved. Truly facing this question inevitably requires a deep examination of the reality of life. In the context of social change, continuous truth and continuous lies correct the disharmony brought by desires. The so-called development of society is ultimately a powerful struggle. But when it comes to the fleetingness of life, facing death in various forms, no matter how much sentiment is expressed, it is difficult to escape from it.
It is easy to despise human rules, but it is difficult to find liberation from the emptiness of life. The former only requires truthfulness, but what comes after truthfulness?
After calmness, the sound of gasping remains clear, and I feel unable to breathe.
Descend into Hell#
If there is something different in my life compared to others, it is the experience of interacting with animals, witnessing the birth and death of one animal after another. The knife goes in white, and comes out red, with fresh blood gushing out. The overwhelming stench of rotting flesh, the swollen reproductive organs the size of corn cobs on a dead sow, while the piglets continue to suck on the purple nipples. Newly hatched chicks are bitten to death, and a midwifing lamb pulls out its own uterus, forced to die...
If killing a person leads to descending into hell, then killing a chicken must also lead to descending into hell, and it should be even more deserving of hell than killing a person. Unless hell is created by humans, if it is created by humans, then it is not hell, it is the human world.